I love Katy Perry, and I’m not afraid to admit it. It’s such good pick-me-up music, great for lightening up any mood with some fun. The last thing I expect though, is a deep epiphany from it. But it came today.
Stuck in afternoon traffic on the 55 Freeway in Orange County, I was jamming to some Katy. One of the lines in “Teenage Dream” is:
I found you
My missing puzzle piece
It made me think of what my pastor talked about in church a few weeks ago about relationships. People often think of their “soulmate” as the person who will complete and fulfill them. But that’s not true. No human person can bring you fulfillment and value. It’s an unfair expectation to place on another human being, and an unfair position to put them in when they can’t fulfill that role and meet your needs.
But… I don’t think I struggle all that much with that problem. In my friendships and relationships, I don’t really expect or need them to fill any void in my life, though I very much enjoy having them. Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned to be satisfied in God alone, letting him meet my needs, letting him be my savior, letting him complete me, and not putting that unhealthy expectation on my friends or significant others.
So what’s been my struggle with relationships lately? Kinda the opposite. I’ve always had a savior mentality. I want to solve other people’s problems. I want to be the person to fulfill them. I have a need to be needed.
I’m good with God being my savior. But I have a problem with him being someone else’s savior. I want to fill that role, though I never could. Though God can meet other people at deeper levels that I never could, I don’t trust that he will, and get this delusional notion that I can save them. I would prefer to be the knight in shining armor, to be the missing puzzle piece that completes someone else.
But that’s not my role. It’s God’s, and I have to let it go. I needed that epiphany. Thanks Katy