How to Get Through Rough Parenting Days with Kids’ Bad Behavior

Parenting has its good days and bad days, but some of those bad days are just really rough. When our kids’ behavior is just worse than usual and the situation is more stressful than it should be, how do we manage those days and move past them? In this post, I’m going to share with you a few things that have helped me.

I recently had a rough weekend of parenting. My kids were defiant and disobedient. There were big emotions from everyone, including myself. I gave out consequences that were more severe than normal – I had to take away screen time for the week and most of their toys.

I was just angry and in a bad mood the whole weekend, and it got me to a really low point mentally. Maybe you’ve been in the same place. I’m going to share 3 things that have helped me get through these rough parenting days, and I’m hoping it’ll help you too.

1. Admit That Parenting is Difficult

Acknowledge that sometimes, you love your children but hate parenting.

There’s this obligation in society to say that parenting is the best thing in the world, but sometimes it just sucks. Admitting that can be really healthy.

It’s also important to recognize that there are lot of other factors that make parenting difficult beyond your actual kids. For me, it’s often stress from external situations like work house projects, or even just the state of the world in general. Those things have nothing to do with my kids. But when you add that anxiety to the the stress of kids’ behavior, it makes that particular situation feel more intense than it is.

In response, there are two extremes that can be really harmful. On one end, we can deny that parenting is hard. There’s this pressure that it should feel easy and enjoyable, so we push down those feelings of discontent and bury them. But this just builds up resentment that can explode in anger and negative feelings later on.

On the other end, dwelling in the difficulty of parenting can intensify those feelings. When we mull over why its hard to be a parent or why our kids are so difficult, it can send us down a spiral of self pity which can leak out into how we treat our kids.

There’s a balance in acknowledging and feeling those emotions, but then being able to move forward from them. It happened. It sucks. Let’s try to make the next few days better.

2. Fill the Relational Bank

Filling up your relational bank with your kids will help you move past those rough days faster.

I invest a lot into my kids relationally. When I can muster up the energy, I try to be super patient, encouraging, attentive, and silly – even when it drains me. That fills up their relational bank. It builds a positive connection with them. So when we have a bad day, they bounce back quicker than I do.

After our incident, I was frustrated and agitated for longer, but my kids were quick to be kind and endearing, even when I was still grumpy. They were offering me patience while I worked through my emotions. Their relational bank was filled, so they had more to offer.

That’s why in the mundane days of life, it’s so important to invest emotionally into our kids. We’re storing up those relational reserves for a rainy day, so when we do have those tough parenting days, we – and our kids – can weather it and move forward.

3. Regulate Your Emotions

Finally, learn to regulate your own emotions in all situations. When I have tough parenting days with my kids, I’m running high on emotions. I’m frustrated, disappointed, angry, and resentful. Those emotions can be hard to control in the moment.

What I need to do is calm down. I need to learn how to manage my emotions on the spot, because I’m teaching it to my kids in real time.

A lot of us parents didn’t fully learn emotional regulation as kids. So we’ve got our own emotional issues as adults. But we have kids now, and we need to learn fast.

It’s hard, but I need to muscle through to stay calm and controlled. This helps me learn to manage my emotions, while teaching it to my kids. If I keep at it, it gets a little easier every time – for everyone. And we have fewer and less intense rough days.

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Those 3 things have helped me get through those really tough days when my kids and I just clash. I admit to myself that parenting is hard. I make sure to build the relational bank in between. And I continue practicing to regulate my own emotions.

That’s helped me reduce the intensity and frequency of tough experiences with my kids, because we’re all learning to get through it better each time.

Also, let me know in the comments – what have you found helpful when you have hard behavioral incidents with your kids?